


Spiraling and sprialing

by othersin



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, F/F, F/M, Gaster is the skele bros dad, M/M, Multi, Overdosing, Spiral!sans, Suicide Attempt, Undertale AU, a father dealing with loosing a child, if Sans fell instead of Gaster, inspired by junji ito, pretty messed up in some parts, void!sans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-19 09:45:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9433964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/othersin/pseuds/othersin
Summary: What if sans was the one who fell into the void, pulling Gaster out of the way just in time with his magic -and it was Gaster who was looking after Papyrus all these years, working hard to save Sans with the machine and resets…but would their be anything left to save?Gaster is left battling his own depression, the stress of raising Papyrus as a single father - his other son lost to the timelines, remaining sane working in the same lab that took sans away from him….It doesn’t help that he keeps seeing a disfigured shadow of “sans”, following him around - an illusion caused by his survivors guilt? Or something more…He can’t lose another son, he can’t.





	1. Chapter 1

_What if Sans was the one who fell in the void by saving Gaster? How would Gaster react to loosing a child? How would he be looking after Papyrus? Hope your ready for a depressing short story_

_Possible Gaster mental/ emotional breakdown in Spiraltale right after Sans falls into the void.  This was a too depressing. And I have yet decided whether to have this as a proper story or a comic._

* * *

 Gaster was restless in his large house; the faint dinging of Papyrus and the pots and pans in the kitchen was heard faintly as he carefully snuck upstairs with the laundry basket. Trying to be quiet because the other would stop him and get him back in bed rest - but Gaster couldn’t handle anymore sleep, it always put him on edge and made him witness the endless replaying of that scene over and over again.

It left him feeling sick and like he was caught in a plummeting elevator - the bottom would be the final, crushing stop.

The medicines just made it worse - and Gaster knew half the medication he did not need, why did they all think he is crazy? Why do they look at him like they don’t trust him with Papyrus? But, Gaster supposed it really was Papyrus looking after him now.

* * *

Papyrus is sweet, and treating Gaster like an injured bird – taking on more responsibilities than any other child his age should, there was very little he could do without getting a headache or shooting pain in his arm. He couldn’t work consistently, and banned from the lab till he was better – dizzy spells and lapses in memories seemed to be common place now; he wondered if it had anything to do with the timeline fracturing.

 But he couldn’t handle being thought as useless or invalid, he couldn’t let Papyrus wait on him hand and foot - he was the father.

As Gaster reached the second floor, he stiffened at the sight of his son’s door, fighting the urge to turn his head to the other room; no light streaming from under the door. It was Sans’s room – now just his dust filled office and storage room; Gaster had refused to go inside and work in there. Whenever he gathered enough courage to go to the door, to turn the doorknob he would always turn and run downstairs.  Gaster’s soul seized in fear and bubbling in disgust at the mere thought of what was behind that door – his work and research only took from him, it gouged the very marrow from his being leaving nothing bur an empty shell behind.

 Gaster shook his head, clenching the basket tighter as he opened Papyrus bedroom – hoping that menial labour of laundry would keep his mind off it. Gaster entered the room – picking up cloths and bits of costume that Papyrus was busy putting together, something that Sans had promised to help the other with. Gaster flinched at the thought, turning his attention back at the shambled bits of costume – surely he would be able to sew this together simply enough, if not perhaps even Muffet? Gaster had put them into the hamper, thinking about it further – pausing at the sight of one of the pieces thrown under the bed, falling to his knees; mindful of his injury as he went to reach for it.

* * *

When Gaster pulled out the blue sleeve of a hoodie from under Papyrus’s race car bed, he didn’t know what to do. He fell back on his pelvis; if he was standing he would’ve collapsed.

Gaster stared at the dusty blue hoodie dumbly – a gift he gave Sans, it was so large when he found it but his son loved it none the less. All logical thought escaped his mind, eye lights shakily flashing and twitching at – seeing but not really seeing in the soul wrenching panic, squeezing in his chest like a vice winding tighter and tighter.

* * *

Papyrus had walked back into his room, finished cooking and in search of his father – smile falling at the crumpled figure of his father on the ground, sobbing pitifully into the woven fabric of Papyrus’s scarf, laundry basket lay forgotten by the others side. Papyrus slowly made his way to his father, feeling older than his short 10 years – approaching carefully, unsure how the other would react; but not expecting to be pulled in close and hugged tightly.

Gaster was not one to give hugs, more like friendly pats on the shoulder or a good natured pat on the skull when Papyrus got good marks or drew him a picture – whenever Papyrus went for a hug, the older skeleton would tense and look upset as though it brought back painful memories. Papyrus couldn’t help but tense in surprise, but relaxed soon after – the wetness of his father’s tears dripped down the cracked skull and onto Papyrus, staining the striped shirt.

* * *

**_It should’ve been him_ **

The regret filled mantra was repeating non stop in his scarred skull, the bleakness weighed heavily on the tall skeletons shoulders, and the disgust began to pull and eat away at what was left of his soul. And now here he is, sobbing heavily in his young sons shoulder; clutching him desperately; not letting the other go. The tiny ten year old, patted his father skull with the little, red oven mitts – staring confused at the strong, collected monster that he looked up to.

“Daddy, I’m sorry for not putting my scarf in the washing machine’ Papyrus gently took his fathers hand, the other skeleton hiccupping as he sobbed – like a small child. Papyrus had to tug the other away – from a tear stained red scarf that the other had pulled from under his bed, Gaster stared at the fabric and back at his tiny son with his worry filled expression. The hoodie looked very red and scarf like now, Gaster only felt sicker.

Papyrus took the other quickly by the hand, leading the other to his bed. Gaster let himself lead along – being pulled up numbly, and seating on the edge of the race car bed and fall sideways into the soft mattress. Papyrus tugged the scarf from his father’s clenched hands and placed it in the laundry basket – casting his father worried glances every now and then. Gaster was almost comatose, eye lights flickering dimly – not really taking anything in as Papyrus continued to clean his room.

 The ten year old worked quickly, and silently – but stilling when movement returned to his father.

* * *

‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…’ Gaster muttered, covering his eyes with his damaged hand – the wound was weeping again and the bandages needed to be changed. Gaster had refused help from Papyrus when it happened, stubborn to do it himself and unwilling to let his son see his gory injury.

Papyrus frowned at the sight, unsure how agitated his father will be if he offered to help him – he might have to get Asgore or Alphys to help him. Alphys was an intern under his father and it had been Alphys who was able to stop the injury from festering.

Apparently, his father had been the closest to the blast when an abnormality fell into the void – no one knew what fell in, or what could cause such an explosive reaction. Alphys said it could’ve been something as small as a seed or as large as a monster that would’ve caused any reaction in the core, but Papyrus didn’t understand most of what she explained –, Papyrus was too busy clutching his father’s uninjured hand as his father just kept on asking deliriously for a monsters name that no one recalled. Alphys explained quietly to Papyrus that his father might be a little confused and not take to heart the harsh demands and pleas for that monster to ‘show themselves and stop playing pranks’ though it was painful to hear when those demands for the monster turned into pleas and begging.

It had been the King who had pulled Gaster to safety, his father had been in an accident in the lab – and another monster was acting royal scientist till he got better and keeping the core stable. It must have been horrible, waking up to find two fingers missing  and a fractured skull– it gave Papyrus chills and a headache just thinking about it, but at least Gaster was able to return home. But as Papyrus folded the last shirt and how the other repeated his apologies – Papyrus felt they weren’t just for him.


	2. Chapter 2

_Warnings: Drug OD, suicide attempting._

* * *

 

Grillby knocked politely on the door – covered pot being held in his hot hands, keeping it warm even in the bitter cold of Snowdin. He knocked again – but with no answer, except the twitching of curtains on the second floor of the large house with its Christmas lights still on. Grillby took a step back from the door, the muffled sounds of feet against carpet; which was followed by the clicks and rattles of chains.

Grillby frowned at the sound, silently counting how many locks the other removed - the door opened slightly agar, chain stretched across, purple lights in wide, scarred sockets.

Grillby smiled tensely,

‘I was worried no one was home.’ Grillby said easily enough, but still the former royal scientist still flinched. Everyone knew that the scientist rarely left his large house, only on rare occasions did he go out on short trips with his growing son – Papyrus. The small skeleton was sometimes looked after by Grillby when Gaster still worked in the labs – even on the day of the accident, Papyrus and Grillby’s own niece were in the bar in the far corner; nibbling on some snacks that Gaster had prepared for Papyrus (peanut butter and carrot sticks – the young skeleton still got a milkshake from the flame monster however) while Fuku got a burger and fries.

It had been the Royal guard captain – a stern looking horned creature, and Undyne that came bursting in after her superior, asking Papyrus to come with them. She was about eight years older than Papyrus and Fuku, the next in line after the captain takes his retirement after this year – she had loved playing with them both but the look on her face was enough to chill Grillby to the core.

* * *

 

Grillby smiled at the wary figure in the door, half expecting it to be Papyrus answering the door – as Gaster had often taken a course of sedation or painkillers that would’ve knocked him out already. The staples in his bone were still visible, and painful. While it looked odd – it was probably the only thing that saved his eyesight, stopping the crack from becoming larger and blinding him.

‘…’ Gaster looked unsure if he wanted to let the other in, Grillby only smiled gently.

‘You look like you need a good meal, are you going to let this delicious beef and potato stew go cold?’ Grillby shivered a little, it was getting colder and needed to go inside quickly. Gaster frowned, closing the door – the sound of the chain sliding across the lock, Gaster opened it then fully.

Grillby couldn’t stop but stare at the others style of dress – a pair of black sweatpants and a turtleneck with a few moth holes eaten out of it. And the other had a pair of slippers, yellow duck slippers of all things.

The other had only worn pressed trousers and jackets – whenever the other had gone to the bar or to work he was impeccable in his state of dress. Though if Grillby was honest – as one who appreciates smart suits, there is something endearing in seeing such a monster in such a casual style of dress.

* * *

 

‘It’s the slippers, isn’t it?’ Gaster had noticed the others gaze, staring at them with a slight flush, ‘Papyrus had gotten them for me for fathers day, and he gets so happy when I wear them…’

‘It’s okay…they’re cute.’ Grillby said, really without thinking – and then realising what he said; his head burning a heated blue. Gaster only stared at him, face flushing purple.

‘I thought you would still be at the bar at this time…’ Gaster muttered, not mentioning it or causing more embarrassment for either of the two men – Grillby had made his way inside, finally closing the door; revealing the array of different locks. Some looked handmade by Gaster himself, all odd looking puzzle mechanisms – Grillby had known Papyrus’s love of puzzles must have come from somewhere, but the child’s fanatic father trying to keep the underground out was not one of them. Perhaps Papyrus wants to design and make a lock that would finally make his father feel safe again in his own house.

Grillby was glad at the semblance of order, but Gaster was not one to let the house fall to bits – without the lab occupying his time anymore, most of his mental power went into cleaning and keeping house. Seeing everything so spotless though was a concerning thing for Gaster though, the older skeleton thrived in organised chaos of his own making.

Grillby watched as his old friend relock the door, double checking the lock – each lock seemed to have a number of times of checking before moving to the next. The flame monster waited patiently, till Gaster pulled away – furrowing his brow in utmost concentration.

‘What are you trying to keep out?’ Grillby gently asked his voice soothing – like he was talking to a small child.

‘The smell outside – it’s unpleasant, the way it wafts inside…’ Gaster answered, ‘I don’t know how to describe it...a mix of ozone and rotting’ He finished the last lock, by hitting it as it clicked.

Grillby didn’t smell anything outside at all – there was nothing outside as he walked up.

‘The doctors said it could be my sense of smell was damaged in the blast – smoke and all that.’ Gaster hummed, though still looking uneasy. He seemed he didn't trust the other doctors.

‘Well, I’m sure this stew will smell delicious – old family recipe, always put a smile on my face.’ Grillby said cheerfully, moving to the table – with a few of Papyrus’s books and what seemed to be a glass of water with two untouched pills. Grillby mindfully put them back in the canister and put them out of reach, leaving the pot on the table as the other was looking for some bowls.

Gaster didn’t say anything about the other taking the medication away, Grillby had been there when he was given the prescription – Gaster knew exactly what they put in those little pills. And perhaps it is still pride or fear of his mental state numbing – he had put off taking them until the pain was almost crippling.

It had taken Papyrus’s panicked tears and cries that made Gaster swallow his pride and take the pills – Gaster did not want to make his son feel that panic ever again, with him writhing on the floor; screaming out in agony.

Gaster though, has been trying to ween his self off the imposed medication – even going so far to take the tablets out and stare at them or force his self to do something else. The pain had lessoned, leaving only the kind that no amount of medication could cure.

* * *

 

‘Where is Papyrus tonight?’ Grillby asked, pulling two bowls from the cupboard.

‘He’s having a sleepover at Undyne’s.’

‘Is that wise, the type of stuff they watch…’ Grillby snorted.

‘She is a good girl, and she knows I’ll come after her if Papyrus learns anything untoward.’ Gaster huffed - going towards a cupboard, pulling out a dusty bottle of red wine and 2 wine glasses, held by the handle. The red wine had been a gift from an office party many years ago – Gaster had not been a big drinker but obviously one had noticed the glass or so he ordered when he went to Grillby’s with co-workers.

Grillby let out a good natured laugh at that, Gaster smiled at the sound – bringing fond memories of Friday nights at Grillby’s bar.

‘Fuku told me to fuck off once when she was younger – just ignored her, they live for a response. Don’t give it to them, and you don’t have any problems.’ Grillby said, sitting down on the cleared table in the kitchen – big enough to fit two or three comfortably.

Gaster chuckled, popping the cork of the bottle and pouring generously in each glass- the sweet scent of the ruby red wine filled the room, mixing with the hearty, meaty smell of stew steaming out of the pot and bowls.

‘We both have our hands full, don’t we?’ Gaster mused; the larger portion of stew was given to him – the former royal scientist accepted it, knowing the other wouldn’t allow him an out.

They both fell in comfortably silence, Grillby watching as the lanky skeleton began to eat – only then he started on his meal.

‘We worry about you.’ Grillby said gently, ‘We all do.’

‘You really shouldn’t.’ Gaster said lowly, but not looking up at the other – idly mixing the stew.

Grillby frowned, the other taking a long sip of his wine.

‘Don’t shut yourself away…’

‘If I don’t shut myself away, they will take Papyrus away from me!’ Gaster snapped back, holding his head in his hand, ‘I don’t need everyone to think I’m a nutcase…’

‘No one thinks you’re a nutcase, where did you get that idea in your head?’ Grillby questioned, feeling rightly mad at anyone who would even consider taking Papyrus away.

Gaster drummed his fingers on the table and finishing his glass of wine – eagerly pouring another.

‘What if I told you – that after the accident at the core – we are continuing an alternate route in time, and I’m the only one who remembers the original route to the point to the accident?’

Grillby paused at that trying to wrap his mind around the concept – Gaster taking the others silence negatively, nodding and then downing the glass.

‘Yep, completely mental – if I were you, I wouldn’t even let me leave the house.’ Gaster said, slurring his words - getting a little tipsy.

‘No, I’m just trying to wrap my head around it.’ Grillby said, calming the other down and taking the wine away. Taken completely by surprise when the other asked quietly, bitter smile gracing his features and tears bubbling up;

‘What would you do if you were the only one who remembered Fuku – and it was your entire fault?’ Gaster asked, food long since forgotten – but taken by surprise when Grillby had stood up quickly, making his way quickly across the table and pulled the other into a tight hug. Gaster tensed and rapidly blinked away the tears that bubbled forth – the purple magic swizzling when it was gently wiped away by the flame monster.

‘I don’t know what I’d do…but I would confide in a friend.’ Grillby said, gently rubbing the others back. Pressing his heated face against the top of the others skull – Gaster had pressed himself into the others warmth. Grillby took a chance, and went to press a kiss on the doctors cheek – mindful of the scars lining the others skull. Gaster allowed the other to continue, out of desperation or loneliness he couldn’t really say – It had been far too long since he’s had someone stay the night.

Grillby pulled away – guilt flowing forth as he spluttered, ‘I’m sorry Gaster…’

‘No, no, no…’ Gaster muttered desperately, pulling the other into another heated kiss – silencing the others own doubts in what he really wanted.

It was then Gaster noticed the smell – pulling away from the pressing kisses from the fire elemental, which moved down his neck, the lanky skeleton being pressed down on the table.

* * *

 

In the doorway of the kitchen, a very similar looking figure stared back at him – grin splitting his skull and wide sockets had been eaten away, the grooves in the bone looked as though they were moving all on their own. This disfigured spectre wore a dirty hoodie with swirling holes in it – continuing to renew and eat away. Gaster felt his soul stop at the sight, it had the silhouette of “Sans” but with such an oppressive aura and the smell…

Gaster had immediately pushed Grillby off him – the other seemed to be repeating his name over and over again, Gaster was going to call to his lost son – but choking on magic foaming from his mouth. Confusion and panic filled him when he realised he was choking – “Sans” only turned away from him and walked off.

* * *

 

 ‘GASTER!’ Grillby had pushed the other on his side, in recovery position– the stew lay spilt on the floor in the others panic, seeing the doctor start choking and having what seemed to be a seizure. Tablets lay scattered on the table, as well as the sickly sweet red wine pouring onto the floor – quickly joining the older skeletons sick; the fire elemental was keeping relatively calm and dialled something on his phone. Magic pulsing and agitating with each heave – Grillby rubbed at the others back, Gaster’s mind was swirling with contradicting memories.

He remembered Grillby coming and bringing the strew – he had been pressed against the table, desperate. While on the other hand, he recalled taking out his 2 sedatives and water…but the sedatives quickly became 5 or more and the water was replaced with a bottle of red.

Did he jump between alternate timelines? Or a different path? Gaster was quickly blacking out – recalling only the others arms picking him up gently after that.

* * *

 


End file.
